January 31, 1979

Shit.

I'm in the worst mood. Today at lunch, Allen was being an ass to me. He didn't say one word till the end of lunch and then, when he did, he told me everything he dislikes about my personality. This is what he said:
1. He wants me to look at him when I talk to him.
2. I never kiss him.
3. I call myself a spaz and always put myself down.
4. There's more, but I can't remember.

When he told me all this, I was just standing here, not saying a word. I should have told him to fuck off. I will tomorrow. If he can't stand my personality and look over my faults, why the hell is he going with me? I overlook so many of his faults. But never would I tell them to his face and hurt his feelings. He really hurt my feelings today.

This is the second time he hurt my feelings (the first time he wanted to break up because I couldn't drive with him. Isn't that asinine?) He's such a dumbshit.

He's probably not going to respect me any more if I don't say anything. And if he really cares, he wouldn't use me again.

(later)
I just got off the phone with Allen. I called him. He got on the phone but another extension was off the hook so someone could have listened. So I told him I'd tell him tomorrow and he said OK. Then I said bye. He thought I was going to talk for a while, and I hung up on him. So now, he knows I mean business.

I should tell him to fuck off, you know. He's really being an ass to me.  But I do like him, and I can't say mean things to people I like (apparently he can, though). Oh well, I'm so confused.

Tomorrow I'm going to be a bitch.
Bye.

January 29, 1979

Hi!
Today was the semester break, so we didn't have to go to school. I can't  believe that 10th grade is 1/2 over. Next semester I'm going to try so hard.

Today I went over to Alice's house. Exiting. I learned how to play canasta. It's an OK game, not really wonderful, but OK.

Allen called me when I got home and we talked for about 1/2 hour, then he had to go. Then he called later and we talked some more. Then I called him later, and we talked even more.

I have such a good attitude towards next semester. I am even (sorta) looking forward to it.

Oh well, it's getting late, and an exciting day of school awaits me tomorrow.
Bye!

January 27, 1979

Howdy!

Today I went over to Allen's house. We listened to records and that's about it.

His dad told me that I looked "absolutely beautiful honey" last night. Gee, what can I say.

On Friday, Alice came to my school to visit. I forgot to write that yesterday. We say Robbie and Steve, Rhonda What's her name, Allen (of course), Alfred, Simone, and Mark. Exciting? Sure, why not!

Mrs. Noyer let me, Vicky, and Alice "cut" Biology and go to P.E! We came in just in time to see Allen make a beautiful layup. I love him so much. Also I hope those pictures come out ok.

Monday is a semester break and I think it will be fun! Next semester, I'm going to totally try and get straight A's. I think I can do it. Well, maybe not Geometry, but I'll sure try!

Allen is taking psychology next semester and he can help me with my problems. That way, I can have an affair with my psychologist. Tee hee!

I swear, I'm still high (naturally) from last night! Allen makes me so happy....
By for now!

January 26, 1979

Today was report card day. My high school GPA is now 3.4. That is so crappy.

Well, I'm getting ready to go the the "Snowball Dance" with Allen. I'm so excited! It's going to be so much fun. We're taking pictures and I hope they turn out well.

Well, I've got to go now. Wish me luck!
Bye.

11:40pm Sat nite

Hello!
I just got home from the dance, and god was it fun! My mom picked Allen up and I came into his house. Then his parents took a bunch of pictures of us. Allen looked so good. He had on a 3-piece brown suit with a  light brown shirt and a dark brown tie with light  brown polka dots. Beautiful!

You know, when I first came into his house, the first thing Allen said was "Zoe, you're beautiful. Absolutely beautiful!" Nice!

Well the band was Shades of Brass (they played at my Jr High), and they were excellent.

At the dance, I didn't know anybody. There were only about 3 non-junior girls (the dance was sponsored by the junior class). A bunch of other people were there and we had a blast.

In the middle of "Color my World" we started kissing. So fun!

By the way, my parents BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME!! They won't let me ride with any guys until I'm 16. Quelle chienne! (Ma mere).

The only thing bad about tonite was that they didn't play "Stairway to Heaven," but c'est la vie.
Bye.

January 25, 1979

Today I found out what I'm getting on my report cards tomorrow. Total shit. I was expecting 4 A's and 1 B. Well, I'm getting 2 A's and 3 B's. Crap!

Next semester I'm going for all A's. I guess this is my 2nd semester resolution. And I'm not going to party.

Except for report cards, tomorrow is going to be an excellent day! Tomorrow is a formal dance that Allen and I are going to. I'm so excited! Also, we get out of school early so I can spend all afternoon trying to make myself look semi-normal.

Well I have to call June, Alice, and of course Allen! Later.

January 24, 1979

Today is Wednesday; the day we got back our finals. I did so crappy, I could not believe it. In French, I got a B (a B, can you believe it---a B?). In Geom I got a C, and in Eng. I got a C. That, by the way, gives me a B in the class, god damn it. And, in bio, I got a C.

These past two weeks have really been shitty, and I can't hide my emotions. I'm so totally depressed in school, and Allen hates seeing me depressed; he gets depressed. So I try to cover up, but I haven't let my emotions out so pretty soon (probably report card day) I'm gonna burst. I can't wait.

Today at nutrition I went to see my counselor so I didn't meet Allen at the regular place (his locker). Well my counselor really got me pissed off, so of course, I was in a bad mood. Well I ran into Allen later and I was totally bitchy (I don't know why!!). Well, he got this look on his face like "go to hell bitch." So then all through nutrition we were totally silent, and god, was it cold. Well, the bell rang and we parted. No kiss. Quel pain in the ass.

Later on I went to the mall and I got "Heaven Tonite" by Cheap Trick. Well Allen called and now I have to go call him back. Bye!