Dec 1, 1979

I just got home, and I'm so fired up. Nate and I went to Westwood to see Quadrophenia and it was excellent. Before we went, we smoked a joint and subsequently got lost. When we got there, we each had a beer. I was only a little buzzed. Not really fucked up, thank god. I had a coke and by the end of the movie I had to pee so badly. Well the movie was thoroughly excellent and afterward we walked around Westwood and stuff. Then we left. We sat in the car at my house and talked. Then we kissed and stuff. I love kissing him. He also likes me too. Obviously! And he's so funny! When we were kissing he started to feel my boobs, but he stopped. I didn't want to to at all (stop, that is). I wonder why he did.

We might play tennis sometime. I hope he's good. He says he's not, so that will be an even match!

Nov 30, 1979

I'm so happy. I think I passed an alg test, tonite's our 1st playoff game, and best of all, I'm going out with Nate! We're going to Westwood to see "Quadrophenia" the new Who film. I can't wait. we're also going to drop by June's house to say hi. I hope my hair turns out ok.

We've been talking on the phone like almost every day. And it's great because we got along so well.

I got three A's on my Watergate report and six A's on my James Michener report. So in History, I'm doing great.

Oooh! I can't wait for Sat! Wait! What am I going to wear? I think I need to go shopping. I better find something, or I'll have to wear my cord pants which are too big in the waist.

Nov 21, 1979

Hello hello hello!
I just got home from the dance. What an experience. Shit! Nate came and picked me up in his parent's Caprice. We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and I tried to order a margarita and he wanted a beer, but the guy wouldn't give is any. Then we went to go party and he drove up some mountain and we were overlooking the valley. We did a few bong loads and the car wouldn't start! So we walked down the hill (me in my long dress, him in his suit and us totally wasted). At someone's house we used a phone and Nate called his dad who came an gave us a jump.

Then we finally went to the dance. Until then, we really hadn't done anything close, so at the dance we were arm-in-arm or holding hands. We waited in line to take pictures for about an hour. We danced a couple slow dances, and I was totally coming on to him. Then we left and went for coffee and we drove home.

It was a little uncomfortable for a second and we were at the door and when were kissing, it was great. We were really getting into it and when we finished, he totally hugged me and then I kissed him again and we started up again. Afterwards he said we gotta go out again and hope we have better luck.

I can't believe we hit it off like that.

November 14, 1979

Last Friday was my algebra midterm. I needed  B on it to get a B in the class. Well I failed. I was so totally pissed at myself I couldn't believe it. I came home crying.

Then Nate called. We talked for a long time about school, camp dances, everything. Anyways we have to plan where we're going for dinner. He's really nice. I'm buying a dress Friday and shoes I hope. I also have to get my hair done and a boutinere.
Whooyah!

Oct 28, 1974

Something funny happened on Weds. Ya see, on the PA I made a boo-boo! They were turning the volume up and down, and when it was off I said "Oh SHIT." But the guy turned it on as I said it and the WHOLE SCHOOL HEARD ME SAY IT! It was so fucking funny, I can't believe it. When I got back into class, they gave me a standing fucking ovation!

Last nite I went to a Halloween party. I was dressed as a mime. I drank a bottle of cold duck. We left to go to some guy's house to get some hawaiian, but his parents were home so we couldn't get any. On the way there I ran a red light but i didn't know! I was trying to maintain. We went to Steve G's house and watched Saturday Night on his waterbed. This morning I have a headache.

Aleta said she'd steal some pot from her brothers and give it to me! He he he!

Guess what I did? I asked Nate to the dance! He said yes too! Except his grandparents are coming out for a visit 'cuz his brother is getting married, so he might not be able to go. I really hope he can. Alice totally freaked out when I told her.

October 18, 1979

Last Tues was progress report day. I got a D/C in Algebra. I changed  the D to a B, so it said B/C. My parents went to open house tonite and in algebra, they went over my grades. Well, my alg teacher told them I got a D/C and they were sure it said B/C (which it did!). Anyways when they came home and asked if I changed it, I said yes. After a talk about my laziness and dishonesty, they decided I can't go with June to see "Chorus Line" this weekend. Also I can't go to the football game or talk on the phone.

I'm seriously thinking of killing myself. I know it's stupid but doesn't it follow the pattern with my life? Stupid things one after the other. I'm a born loser. Everything I do in my life I end up explaining. Everything gets fucked up somehow. The world would be better without me.

October 14, 1979

FUCK.
I'm so pissed. I'm so depressed. FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.

My fuckin parents don't go for anything I do. They're fucked. I bought some pants and a top a while a go. Well, I put them on with my brown velour top and my corduroy hat. I went in the family room to show the pants to them. They fuckin started to fuckin cut me down. First, they tell say the pants are too tight. Then my father tells me my ass is hanging out which is bullshit.

Why is my life so shitty dammit?

Also, next Sat I'm going to dinner and to see "A Chorus Line" with June. Well we were planning that I'd come over in the day. But nooooo, Zoe is not allowed to drive that far. June's parents won't let her drive on the freeway, so what do I do?